hello!

things are good. this has been my midterm week at school, so it’s obviously been kind of AWFUL. but i’m getting through it, so no big! dan and i are okay, we fight a LOT but i think that’s just the name of the game when you date for as long as we have. i don’t want to break up ever, neither does he. so we just work through it. we’ve have enough practice! sunday is halloween, i think i’m being audrey hepburn because i’m not really in the mood to pay 50 dollars for a minnie costume when i’m not even quite sure what i’m doing yet. i work on friday and saturday so i can make some rent money. and i got taylor swift’s cd the day it came out because i’m a tween and i’m OBSESSED. i love taylor swift so much. i don’t even know what to do. the weather is so warm right now and it was so cold last week. so i’m completely confused. i’m excited to go eat ice cream for dinner with erin. and i guess that’s all i have to say. haha.

goodbye!

i’m sitting in the library of kutztown, looking at wedding concepts and vintage gowns. and my heart is like racing and i have butterflies.

i know this is INSANE, but dan keeps asking me what i want for christmas.
and i know exactly what it is. ughdaslkfjdaslfkajdf.adf

it has been a whileee. well, compared to how much i usually update.

i actually got a new, uh, social networking site? i think i like it so much because it’s really structured, but of course, after 30 days, i’m kind of pretty sure i’m going to be over it and running back to my xanga. haha. so i still want to stay faithful. i’ve had this site too too long to just give up on it.

things are going really well. school is going good, dan is going good, friends are going good. i really can’t complain. i thought i had a meeting for student teaching this morning but of course it is actually NEXT thursday and i’m just an idiot. and woke up at 9:00 when i could still be sleeping. and i missed observations this morning when i could have went. ay yi yi. this is my life.

dina came and visited last week. it was really nice to have her here. i really care about dina so much, even if she lives far away and she’s not the kind of friend i talk to every day. the older i get, the more unimportant constant communication seems. this is just the curse of such constant communication through facebook and texting. it makes you feel uncomfortable for just having your own life. but it was nice to have her here, and yesterday i saw erin and we went to red lobster. i feel absolutely terrible about how much i ate and i gained a pound and i’m like, mildly freaking out but it’s cool. this is my life. easy come, easy go.

i was really broke last week, like more broke than i usually am. and it scared me so much but i’m okay now. i made terrible money at work 2 weeks ago but i totally made up for it last weekend which i’m so grateful for. if no one comes in the restaurant, it’s my nightmare. i have nothing to do so i just sit there in a panic about how no one is coming in and i can’t pay my bills. gross. this is my life as well.

but it’s gotten a lot cooler out. fall is coming. i’m really excited. i can’t wait to carve pumpkins and go on a hayride and have all the holidays come. i have no idea what i’m doing for ANYONE but i’ll figure it out. but, i think this was a good post.

talk to you soon!

i’m actually going to make a pretttty lengthy post. i feel like i have a lot to say.

school started. i’m taking seven classes. ay yi yi. i know i sound extremely INSANE, but hear me out.
i signed up for 6 (including a bio lab) and felt like that was definitely more than enough of a work load. the next morning, i checked my school email, and saw that i fit all the criteria to start my professional seminar semester this spring, but was just missing one class. although the class was full, i emailed the teacher and got in! so i’m starting prosem next semester, and i’m a step closer to graduating. i know this semester is going to be hell on EARTH, but i just really want to push through it. i want to graduate. i want to grow up! i want to be onto the next new and exciting part of my life.

anyway. i went to the beach yesterday with dan and met up with courtney and josh. it was really fun. although me and court are much more different than we probably would have imagined becoming in high school, she’s always going to be my best friend. always. she gets me so well. also, erin smith has been and always will be my best friend. i can’t believe she even deals with me being such a psycho. i’m so lucky to have such awesome friends. i’m extremely grateful.

i’ve been working a lot. you know, i have to pay the bills! things are going okay with it. serving is stressful, but it’s cool. last sunday, september 5th, always ends up being one of THE worst days in the WORLD for me. like, i didn’t see the date until like 7pm, and it all made sense. i know it seems completely insane to every other person in the world, believe me, i agree. i cried it off and got over it. baggage comes with every attempted and failed relationship. no hard feelings, because if it weren’t for that heartbreak, i wouldn’t have gotten the opportunity to start dating the absolute best boy ever!

onto that. dan’s awesome! i can’t believe how awesome i’ve thought one boy has been for so long. he’s my favorite person in the world. he makes me laugh harder than everyone. i can’t believe how lucky i am to have such an awesome person to share my life with. i feel bad because i’m not the perfect girlfriend that i want to be and feel like i could be. but of course, that comes with the territory. i’m always striving for this whole perfection thing, and failing MISERABLY. haha. it’s not like he expects me to be though, and i know that. i mean, he fell in love with me after i got cheated on, with braces, too much eyeliner, and imperfections completely obvious. and that’s why i’m so lucky to have him. it’s nice to feel no pressure from your boyfriend. i mean, i would NEVER leave the house in anything but perfect clothes, perfect hair, perfect everything, but at the end of the day, sweatpants and band shirts, dan’s here. and i know he thinks i look pretty in 60 dollar dresses and perfect makeup, but i love that we kept the spark through all of this. i still get excited to see him, and when we go out on a date, i still plan my outfit for about 45 minutes. i could gush forever. haha. PUKE.

i really did love the summer, but i really cannot WAIT for fall. i just bought 2 new pairs of jeans and adorable new flats. i also got new rayban thick blame frame glasses. even though i know i say i’m over the whole entire “indie” scene, i’m not going to lie, they look so good! don’t judge me. :0) haha.

i think that was a good update. i hope things are the best for you.

hey xanga.

things are good! the summer is finally wrapping down. this summer has been busybusybusy! kids really ate up a LOT of my time, and then sticking with red robin on the weekends, i felt like my summer was completely wasted. butttt, i’ve had so much fun this past month, it’s made it all worth it. that, and i went on total buying sprees that made me realize that i really NEED to work in order to afford my expensive lifestyle. haha. i’m really happy with the break that i’ve had. i’ve really enjoyed the times that i’ve spent with the most important people in my life. i’m lucky to have the people that i do.

school starts monday, which is lameeeeeeeeeeee, and i’m hoping to be able to pick up a few more classes so i can graduate like, PRONTO. i’ve been really antsy about like, moving on from being a student. i really want to get to the next step already! speaking of…i can’t believe i’m even saying this. BUT. i really would like to get proposed to. soon. it’s all i really ever think about. and everyone keeps asking me…and i just say that i don’t know exactly when it’s going to happen. but i really would like if it was soon. love makes you crazy. it’s official. from the girl who never even liked being a girlfriend, now i want to be a freaking wife. i’m a nut, officially.

i really want to dye my hair. just so you know.

i’m sure i will update soon.

hello.

things are good. i’m so busy with kids and red robin, but staying busy is never ever a bad thing. so i’m making money to make rent/electric/phone/billsbillsbills easier to handle during the school year when i can’t work as much because of school. i’m also saving for a tv! what a adult thing to buy. i’ve never bought my own tv. i used to love buying clothes. now i’m shopping at ikea and buying toilet paper. growing up is so crazy. i’m really fortunate to have my own place and have my own things and be able to get a taste of responsibility. and i’m also fortunate to have parents who help me as much as mine do.

dan and i are good. sometimes, i just get nervous about whether or not this is REALLY what i need. i feel like me and dan are really different. i love him, but i don’t know if we really have what it takes to REALLY make it. and the fact that i’m doubting that is making me wonder if i’ve wasted my time..? i don’t know. what i DO know is that i haven’t been single since i’ve been fourteen years old. i really feel pathetic for saying that. it makes me wonder if i’m really as strong of a person as i really should be at my age. but. i can’t change the past. and i’m not sure if i want to change the present, either. all i do is WHINE. yuck.

anyway. i’m completely nervous about my car inspection on thursday. my check engine light is on. :0( but i’m happy and healthy and i’ll end on that.

i just hung out with someone i haven’t hung out with for years.
and do you know what she said? “you seem to have not changed at all.”

i’m done with worrying about missing people and people changing.
it’s not my responsibility to help people grow up and be good people.
i know who i am. i know who i was. i know who i want to be.

and they are all exactly the same person.

school’s over! i got a’s on all of my finals, except one (probably). so i’m happy. i’m ready for a break.
things with me and dan are real good. so good. i’m so in love. it’s gross. i would puke if i weren’t me.
i’m so excited for the beach, laying outside, and just relaxing. i also can’t wait to buy CLOTHES! go figure.
i also want to get a haircut and lose a few pounds and just look like the me i feel like i want to be.
and can i PLEASE just say, that i’m absolutely OBSESSED with scarlet johannson? because i really am.
and i’m also really obsessed with drake. i want to marry him i’m pretty sure. actually, i’m positive.
but, i just wanted to give an update. i hope things are going well for you. :0)

i seriously couldn’t be any happier. i love you.

change is coming. and i’m ready for it.