“relax. don’t keep your eyes open.”

we’d look good side by side.

things are crazy anymore.

my car is almost fixed. i’m in the hole for money, but whatever. i visited chopper in florida for the weekend. it seriously feels so nice to fall this hard again. so nice. i have come to terms with my andrew situation. i don’t want to be with him, but i know i don’t want to lose him completely. i’m trying to figure it out. hearts are really complicated. i can’t look at any boy i ever kissed and not feel a pang of regret. just because i feel it doesn’t mean that i’m still in love with them. it just means that i’m human. if things end, they must have ended for a reason. and that transcends romantic relationships. i believe that it includes all of them.

i’m not swimming in wealth of just about anything. i’m not the prettiest, richest, most popular, or smartest. but i’m not going to lie. i have a boyfriend who is honestly everything i would ever want in a boy. i started going out with him, IMMEDIATELY irritated by the fact that he didn’t like kissing and wasn’t all over me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. and now that i look back on it, i’m so glad that i stuck to my gut instinct. i knew that he was worth it. just to hear his voicemails saying “i just called because i want to let you know that i think you’re perfect. and i can’t wait to see you” and just to wake up being held is so nice. and i like the fact that i can sit there talking about how i hate foods that are white for like, 3 hours. and he still likes me. uh? and i have great friends who i know love me more than i deserve. they deal with me when i’m at my worst, and will see me even if i’m a grumpbot. the support of my family is honestly the most important thing in my life. it feels so nice for everything to be in its place again. for so long, it was such a struggle, and everything just feels so reassured now. it all feels so comfortable. it’s spectacular.

i saw minus the bear last night and i can’t stop listening to them.
and i have a test tomorrow, but i’m visiting merissia at rosemaries instead.

have a great night.