so. things are okay right now, but i guess i’m kind of in a grumpy mood. that i just came from a morning star show DEFININTELY doesn’t haev anything to do with that. um. right. so lets talk about things that get me worked up. bc thats really all i use this thing for anyway, to vent. bc im a really angry person and i should just go and write a song. basically. :0)

morningstar shows honestly, are the epitome of things that get me angry. and i always say that i wont go to anymore of them. but come friday nights, i NEVER really know what to do. its either that, or like. not nothing, but, without a job, i’m always free. and the options always there. so i kind of always disregard how much i hate it and try to have a good time. i used to love all shows so much, but really, i do believe they are something that you eventually grow out of. the kids are disgusting, and honestly proud of being so. reeking of smoke, and probably paying more for their beat up ugly clothes at hot topic than i could ever afford to buy for anything. and not only do they look like douchebags, they just are. at such a young age, they honestly have TERRIBLE attitudes, and mosh pits, bands w/ bad attitudes, and the enormous pressure to smoke/drink/do drugs doesn’t help at all. its honestly like these kids are given NO chance to even become kind of good people. if you walk into the environment, and are young and impressionable, it just happens. it happened to me. i bought those same little shirts, and said the same little things, and thought i was tough shit too. and then i just woke up and realized it wasnt really worth it anymore. none of it was.

but the real kicker of the situation is that along w/ the studded belts and and lip rings comes another trendy accessory, jesus christ himself. anyone who is anyone knows that all the really cool scene kids believe/worship/are crazy about him. which is really enough of a problem in itself. i personally believe religion is one of the BIGGEST jokes. i’m not trying to toot my own horn, but i think i’m a pretty okay persno. i think i’m respectful to people deserve it, and make pretty good decisions. i’ve lied to my parents, made fun of people who didnt deserve it, and cursed, but its not like i’ve ever done anything unforgivable. or even close to that bad. and none of that is thanks to any religion/church/youth group/youth leader/etc. none of it. i was born catholic and confirmed and havent done much w/ it. but. tonight, it really proved to me, why religion is SUCH A CROCK OF SHIT.

so. ALL the emo kids know all about invisible children. so, if you’re reading this, youre probably emo enought to know about it. i’m not speaking any harsh words towards the cause, but i truly do believe that there are many charities out there, and once one gets so much publicity, especially within a music scene (and especially in one such as…impressionable as ours) you begin to wonder really what peoples motives are. if these kids were really given the opportunity to help, would they? open ended question. because im really not sure. so go on any scene kids myspace, and you’ll see OMFG HELP THE INVISBLE CHILDREN LOLOLWTFOMG and that is all well and good. but really. WHAT are you doing to help? are you donating money? no. are you writing to government or important people to make them aware of this tragedy? no. are you doing anything that could maybe even bring some productivity to the cause? no. you’re hopping on the bandwagon. and i just feel that way. bc. i do. and maybe its because i’m a brat. so. fine. i’ll take it. but all i know, is that tonight, a man came into morningstar, compliments of eric s. and i guess the guy looked a little funny, but you can tell this man is not your normal guy. he has married a woman from zambia, and one step at a time, they are trying to take african girls out of the sex industry in which they are forced to join in order to support their families. and although they have not too much money, fuel, anything they need, they’re trying to at least help a few people. and what i just told you, probably i was the only one who was REALLY listening. all of those kids who LOVE supporting the invisible children, they were in the back, yelling, laughing, making fun, or some other bullcrap. and you know what? that really fed me up. because, i’m going to be honest, this guy could be a big huge fake, but that has NOTHING to do w/ it.. it has to do w/ the parallels in which the invisible children and the story in which he was talking about held. how could you care SO much for one thing and not at all for another? something has to give. dont make yourself out to be a saint if you really dont care.

because theres people like me, that actually do. and this girl, i swear, will one day make a difference.
your myspaces and xangas? i’m not sure if they will have the same future.

end rant.